Monday Mournings – Child Support Hula Hoops

monday Mournings - Feeling Stressed

Why Can’t Things Be Simpler?

Saturday, I went to the mailbox and found a letter from Child Support Services. I was excited. I thought maybe they had gotten things settled and payments would roll in anytime now. WRONG! It was a letter stating that I would not be receiving child support since my youngest child had now turned 18-years-old and was, as such, emancipated.

Well, yes, that may be true in most cases, but in Rory’s case it is not. Rory has missed so much school with her illness, that she receives Special Education Medical Home Teaching through the school district and has not yet attained her high school diploma. Because of this, I am eligible to receive child support for Rory until she gets the diploma or turns 19-years-old, whichever comes first.

There was an entire section of the child support application dedicated to this specific issue, which required special information that I provided. Of course, the letter arrived on Saturday, so I could do nothing until this morning, but sit around trying not to let it worry me too much…cough, cough, cough.

Do you ever wonder if there is some kind of stupid test for government employees, or if they have different people who read different parts of applications, but who can reject solely on their portion of it? And if you call trying to ask a question or get some help with something, they treat you like you are some kind of idiot.

With all of the paperwork I have had to fill out, documentation I have had to provide, money I have had to spend to get certified copies of things over the past two months, I feel like I have been jumping through hoops!

I should look like this


But instead, I look like this


When I called Child Support Services this morning, the lady took Rory’s school information and input it into our case. She said it should not be a problem, and that there was nothing further for me to do at this time. Yeah! Finally an easy fix…now if we could just start getting those checks!

I have an appointment on Thursday at the DMV to get my Driver’s License renewed…I hope that goes smoothly.

Have you had any annoying dealings with government agencies? Share your story in the comments.

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33 thoughts on “Monday Mournings – Child Support Hula Hoops”

      1. I’ve dealt with my share of government agencies over the past 10 or so years since my boys were first diagnosed. I’m with you, patience is not one of my virtues!

  1. I never had to deal with government agencies, but I’m so sorry that you have to fight to get child support. This make me so sad 🙁 I am from what you would call a “Broken home”. In the 1980’s it was not common at all. Looking back, I can thank my parents that they did it the right way and they were able to settle everything between themselves. I luckily have a great dad and he always made sure that my mom had enough money. He would sometime even send more then the allowance that was agreed on.

    I hope that everything works out for you, really soon!

    1. Thanks, Linda. I thought I was doing the right thing for my kids by allowing Christopher to continue living in the house, but that was a huge mistake. Now that he is out of the house he feels he owes us nothing. He left Rory and I high-and-dry. He has been living the high-life going out to eat, movies, baseball games, weekend trips, etc… I think when I finally get through all of this red-tape, he will have quite a shock on his hands. Oh, well…that’s his problem! But it is hard dealing with people who will not give a direct answer to a question…perhaps they don’t know their job or are too afraid to be blamed for something…

  2. Oh dear….My husband and I have had our fair share of issues with unemployment that made me want to wring a few necks. We’ve been denied a couple of checks for dumb things that we never knew he was supposed to do. Oh and the last time he was unemployed we jumped through I can’t tell you how many hoops to get some help with our mortgage only to find out about 4 months later (it was only supposed to take one month) that accepting the “help” was actually a loan with interest that we would have to pay back plus they put a lien on your home and you can’t rent it or move for five years…um I don’t think so. After all the hassle we told them thanks but no thanks. Thankfully we have gotten by okay even though we’ve had to deal with stupid government issues.

    1. Oh, Ashley… that is scary! At least Rory and I are not in fear of losing our home. We may not have utilities or may have late fees to pay on them… but we have a place to sleep at night. I know several people who have struggle with red-tape and misleading information with mortgage refinances and such…so stressful. Glad things are working out for you now.

  3. Ah, but it seems, unfortunately, that the role of bureaucracy is to maintain employment. In order to justify their existence they have to resolve problems, even if they generate them.

    1. And generate problems they do! They waste so much time and money doing silly things it’s ridiculous. And I have had to drive all over the place to get some of this stuff accomplished (I have no money for gas people!)… In this day and age of internet, why can’t more of this kind of crap be done online?

  4. Here’s one for you. About 3.5 years ago, my husband and I decided I was going to go back to work full time in order to pay off some debt we had. I had previously worked for the USDA, so reapplied finding that the best place for me to get a job was 3.5 hours from where we lived so I would also be getting a 25% sign-on bonus to the tune of about $12,000 which would go a LONG way toward our debt. My husband put in for, and received a transfer to a store in the same area. I jumped through all the hoops the USDA required, even getting re-examined medically per their request on my dime. I received a letter giving me my start date so we finalized the move and went ahead. Two weeks after we relocated, I called the USDA HR, and told them that I hadn’t received the date and time for my orientation. That’s when I found out my appointment had been rescinded, that some doctor had decided the knee I blew out working for them wasn’t good enough for the work load, and that the start date letter had been a mistake. Good times.

    1. O.M.G. – That is unbelievable! You uprooted your entire life for nothing. I hope you found something good out of the move. Thanks for sharing…I feel a bit guilty for feeling better at the expense of your story…


  5. Dealing with government agencies is like dealing with big companies like AT&T. You can call 10 different times with the same question and get 10 different answers. The right hand does not know what the left hand is doing. Glad it seems to be working out for you!

    1. Well, at least this step today did…of course, this whole snag has slowed the approval of our case, so now we have to get it rolling again. *sigh*

      You’re right about getting differing answers for the same questions…frustrating.

  6. Ah yes…government. Oh how I love how they work! I’ve had numerous problems with them. Especially after my husband got laid off after his position being sent overseas…then being unable to find another. This was maybe 5 years ago and we applied for temporary assistance, food, and unemployment. Please tell me WHY did it take two months for unemployment to kick in and denial of food and temporary assistance!! At least my mortgage company understood and just moved our payments to the end for what ever months we were unable to pay.
    And I gave up on child support for my oldest daughter 10 years ago after my ex went into hiding and it would cost ME an arm and leg to find and send him to court. Not worth it now since her step-father has been here. So sorry you are going through this. Stay strong!

    1. We are strong…we’ve dealt with hard times Rory’s entire life with her medical issues, so this is just another rock to climb. Being unemployed is scary enough without having to deal with the garbage of government nonsense. Glad things worked out for you, Cherie.

  7. I’ve had to deal with Social Security for my autistic son while applying for disability. According to SSI a disability is something that lasts for more than a year. He’s 8 you would think common sense would tell them that 8 is more than 1 instead no, they need more paperwork, more documentation. It’s really annoying and frustrating dealing with the gov’t. The workers act like the money is coming out of their pocket so they have to protect every penny. ok don’t get me started. Hope things work out for you Lorelai.

    1. Oh, Amanda…don’t I know exactly what you are talking about. Rory had SSI when she was little. And then they decided that because we had two vehicles (which they knew about from the beginning) she did not qualify after all. We had to pay back every penny she had received over that 8-months she was on SSI. For a family already struggling with a medical disability, treatments, and multiple hospitalizations…that was an impossible feat. Good luck with your son. I hope you eventually got it worked out. SSI is something we just re-filed for for Rory as she is now 18 and no longer has my income and assets to worry about.

  8. That is so irritating! There is nothing worse than feeling like you have to hold their hand and do their job for them! I hope it all works out!

  9. Our particular struggles are with the medical and insurance hula hoops. I swear it’s like a scavenger hunt, the more pointless phone calls and appointments the better. I can totally relate!

  10. I have has more run ins with government agencies that I would like and I have found it very frustrating. Half the time I feel like I am repeating myself to anyone who will listen. Last time a “new” employee forgot to mail my paper work so it was clearly my fault. I am glad this was solved for you quickly and hopefully the checks will arrive soon. Good Luck!

  11. You’re a trooper! Reminds me of the huge long process I went through to apply for Medicaid and prove eligibility. Good grief! Whatever paperwork I handed in, it wasn’t enough. Thankfully, it’s all over now. I’m so glad I stuck to my guns and saw the process through to the end 🙂 You too!

  12. It is so annoying to give agencies the information they ask for and they still act as though they never got it. I’ve had agencies lose paperwork I’ve sent it…. with sensitive information on it. I could’ve killed them. Love the videos! Good luck with it. I’m impressed you seem so calm. I’d be stressed to the max. Good luck with the DMV as well. Another government agency in one week is dangerous.

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