divorce Archives - Life With Lorelai

Monday Mournings – It’s Finally Final

After over 4-1/2 torturous years, my divorce was finalized on December 3rd! As awful as a divorce is, I am so relieved to have it over… it truly was my Christmas Wish come true. Christopher did not make the judge happy, so I got everything I asked for and then some. I was absolutely shocked at how well the final day in court went. Now, once things settle down and everything starts flowing according to the court order, Rory and I should be doing a little better.

The judge also told Christopher that he had just 2 weeks to get his ~~crap~~ stuff off my property, or else I could deal with it as I wish. His deadline is December 17th… and guess who still has a boatload of stuff here. I have been so busy trying to clean things out and get all of his stuff together in one place. That way he is here for the shortest amount of time possible.

It also seems that Rory was approved for SSI. This is fantastic news as well. We do not have an official approval letter yet from Social Security, but she has a payment in the bank!

Rory’s final (I hope) IEP for school was done on December 6th. Everything stayed the same, which is exactly what we wanted. Woo Hoo!

The first week of December was AWESOME! The second week found Rory picked for two solos in the school Christmas Concert. She is so excited. The concert falls on mine and Luke’s 2-year anniversary of dating.

It’s a happy, happy Christmas! I hope your December is happy too.

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~Lorelai

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Court Is In Session

I’m in Divorce Court Today…

Fighting For What’s Right and Fair!

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Christopher and I were supposed to go to court this past Monday, September 9th, but late last week the court clerk called and said it needed to be continued until October 1st. I broke down in tears…right on the phone, poor lady. I explained why I was crying and that Rory and I had been left cut-off of funds since June 7th. She told me to hold on a second. When she came back, I had a new court date of Thursday, September 12th, just 3-days past our original date. I was so thankful and appreciative. Jenny you are wonderful!

Today, Christopher texted Rory telling her he was at his friends house and that the water felt great in his pool. She was hurt by this that he did not even ask if she wanted to go swimming (this is Rory’s first summer in 7 or 8 years that she is allowed to go swimming due to medical reasons). After his disgusting tease, he asked if I was home (which I was), and then asked about taking her to get some frozen yogurt.When he picked her up, I had some old family photos of his that i had packaged up for him along with a blanket that his grandmother had knitted for him when he was a baby. He had something for me too. He handed me his response to our divorce.

First off, legally he should not have handed it to me, a third party should have served me. Second, his response is not even filed with the court. Third, it was 3:15 in the afternoon, and we are due in court at 8:30 tomorrow morning. Fourth, it is riddled with inaccuracies and blatant lies.

So, instead of the nice, civilized, “Christian”, divorce as he liked to call it, it looks like we’re going to be battling like a couple of Kung Fu Fighting Rabbits! This is not the way I wanted this to go, but he has left me with no choice. I have to fight to protect my daughter. And after nearly 24-years of marriage, he owes me a little something too. Child Support and Spousal Support, we’re not asking for much, just enough to get by.

I would love to ask you to please send your best thoughts and good luck wishes my way today. And if you believe in the power of prayer (like I do), I ask you to please send a prayer up for me and Rory. I hate it that this is so hard on her. I never would have believed he would treat her this way. My heart is broken.

I Hope!

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Photo Credits: huffingtonpost.com, mileanhour.com, squidoo.com

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Monday Mournings

Last week, Christopher moved out of the house leaving Rory and I with no food and suddenly cut-off without warning of money (including the automatic deposit that went straight to my account every two weeks). This threw me into a whirlwind of trying to figure out what I needed to do in order to feed my child, NOW.

I found myself filing a case at Child Support Services for Child Support, and also doing court paperwork and filing for Spousal Support, (we had a long-term marriage of 23-1/2-years). These were not only time consuming, stressful, and not fun, but they also ate up my gas that I had so precious little of in my truck.

Child Support Services and the Court told me that I needed to file for a food program, as immediate need was required. After driving to the location to fill out more paperwork, I spoke with a man at the service window who told me it would be a 4-hour wait to see someone and get the paperwork started, OR I could go home and do it online. Why don’t they tell you that little tidbit over the phone?! Needless to say, I climbed back in the truck and high-tailed it home to spend about 5 more grueling hours gathering even more documentation and filling out yet another application. Of course, by the time I was finished, it was past 5 pm, so my application would not be looked at until the following business day. Thank God, it was Thursday night.

Friday morning I received a phone call at 10:15 AM telling me that I had an appointment at 1 PM to go over my application, and oh, by the way, you need to bring along additional documentation. I sped around the house going through files, raced to two banks, made phone calls, borrowed some money from a friend for gas, and flew out of the house for my 30-mile drive to my appointment. Phew…

I had to have a face-to-face interview so the lady on the other side of the desk could ask me questions that I had already answered on the online application. She took copies of my additional information, fingerprinted me, handed me a card with $200 on it, and sent me on my way home–four hours later in the height of rush-hour traffic in Southern California…oh yeah…

The good news was that I received some much-needed aid for Rory and me. The bad news for Christopher, at any rate, is that he will be responsible for paying it back (they will even garnish his wages if he does not).

Hopefully, this week will be less stressful. I have another appointment on Thursday with my new divorce attorney where she will help me file an amendment to my Response.

I would love to hear any tips on getting through this stuff with your sanity intact. I think the key for me right now is to remember to smile and laugh. Being down and depressed isn’t going to help anything.

Luke took me out Saturday night for Karaoke. We had a great dinner, I sang 5 songs, had lots of laughs, and the Cadillac Margarita really hit the spot after the week I’d had. Thanks, honey!

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~Lorelai

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